Burning Desire
by queer-space-mermaid
Summary: After Elizabeth's relationship with Alexander goes up in flames, her remaining ire is directed towards Maria Reynolds. But is her obsession fueled by anger, or by lust?


Written for Jay, very belatedly, for the Gift Giving Extravaganza 2017. Hope you enjoy! Please note I removed an explicit scene, but the full fic including this scene can be found on my my AO3 account, space_mermaid.

* * *

Smoke and flame rose high, billowing in the summer breeze, as Elizabeth hurled him into the bonfire. Light danced in her eyes, sweat gathered on her forehead, and the need to scorch yet more pieces of him made her fingers twitch in fists by her side. But there was nothing left. The sweater he'd left in her room, the soft toys he'd bought her for their anniversary, the letters he'd given her, all those sweet, empty nothings… Every bit of him she had… All were consumed, soon to be ash.

"Burn, you piece of trash," she growled under her breath.

"Ah, Eliza? You want to come inside soon?" Her sister, Angelica, stood at the backdoor, eyeing her with concern. "I made nachos. Your favourite!"

"Do you have any of his shit?" She watched the flames undulate – _they_ were the hungry ones.

"No."

"Sure about that?"

Angelica sighed. "Just a couple of textbooks, but I need those."

Elizabeth struggled against the urge to fight her on this. While she wanted to destroy everything that he had ever laid his filthy hands on, she loved her sister and knew it would be cruel to rip the books off her, especially since their father refused to support Angelica's studies, financially or otherwise.

"Fine," she bit out. "If you think of anything else though, kindly leave it on the back step."

An arm wrapped over her shoulder, frizzy brown hair tickling her face. "Come on, sweetie. You need to eat."

Reluctantly, Elizabeth let Angelica lead her back inside. Her fire had fuel enough to keep.

* * *

Flesh churned ripe and red, blending into liquid.

"Ruby Berry Dairy?"

Elizabeth collected her smoothie, surveying the serving girl intently. Brown ringlets scooped into a pony tail, flyaways held at bay by a gaudy green company visor. Smooth skin, a shade or so lighter than Angelica's. Curvy figure, movements energetic. And her face? Beautiful. Beautiful kissable lips, beautiful soft cheeks, and beautiful, sparkly, _gorgeous_ eyes. Shame such a beautiful girl was such an evil bitch.

"Can I help you, mam?"

Elizabeth shook her head and backed away from the Juice Bar counter. She chastened herself. Maria Reynolds was (probably) not an evil bitch… Just naïve, unprincipled and desperate. The girl had to have known that Alex was dating Elizabeth, what with she and her ex forming the power couple of the college's student council last year. But Maria wasn't the one who had vowed to stay in a committed monogamous relationship with Elizabeth, so she could hardly draw all her ire. Only a little of it.

According to her Instagram, Maria was quite a gym bunny and health freak. Physique certainly checked out. According to her Facebook, most of her friends were part of the drama department, so she likely was too.

Elizabeth slurped on her drink, chewing on the straw, gaze flicking between the girl, serving customers at the Bar, and the passers-by in the food court. She wondered if Maria recognised her. If she had, Maria hadn't seemed flustered by Elizabeth's presence. Maybe it was her acting experience. Or maybe she just didn't give a shit.

Elizabeth pulled out her phone and flicked between Maria's social media accounts, as she had taken to doing over the long days of summer. Was she trying to plot her revenge? Discover what was so alluring about the girl that had guiled Alex into throwing himself at her? Get some hot tips about how to be a homewrecker? Elizabeth couldn't quite say. All she knew was that when her brain started to itch with anxiety, some Maria cyber stalking was a good way to scratch.

"Excuse me?"

Elizabeth startled, shoving her phone into her handbag.

Maria herself stood before her, mouth twisting.

"Um, yes?"

"You're Eliza, right?" Maria asked.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "What do you want?"

"I just -" Maria sighed and pulled out the chair opposite Elizabeth, plopping herself down heavily. "I wanted to apologise."

She was leaning in close, voice soft. "I'm really, really sorry for… I shouldn't have slept with Alex, it was a big mistake. And I'm not making any excuses, but I was in a really bad place and needed a friend. I wasn't thinking clearly. But my actions have consequences and I know I fucked up. I'm really sorry."

Big brown eyes regarded Elizabeth earnestly, hands wringing together over the table.

"I accept your apology," Elizabeth said tightly, refusing to let herself break eye contact.

"Thank you," Maria smiled, relieved.

They sat staring at each for a few awkward beats.

"Ah, I better get back to work." Maria got up, her chair squeaking across the floor as she pushed it back into place.

"Do you do theatre?" The words slipped out mindlessly.

Maria blinked. "Yeah, how did y- why?"

"I, ah, saw the poster for the musical. Was wondering if it's worth going."

Maria's perturbed face broke into a beam. "Definitely worth it. We've outdone ourselves this year, if I do say so myself."

Elizabeth nodded, considering. "I might buy a ticket then."

Maria smiled and headed back behind the counter.

Elizabeth retrieved her phone, located the musical Facebook page, and shaking her head at her own antics, bought a ticket.

* * *

The next time she saw Maria up close, the girl was in full stage make up, but had changed out of her red satin dress and costume jewellery into some short shorts and a tank top. Her arms were draped around the shoulders of her cast mates, and they were all swaying, singing one of the upbeat numbers from the show they had just performed. Beer was being passed around in red plastic cups and everyone was celebrating a successful opening night.

Elizabeth was not usually one for parties, unless a monthly book club meeting counted as a party. And she hadn't been inside a frat house since – no, she would not dedicate a single thought to him.

It was not a terrible atmosphere though. Theatre nerds seemed to be a gregarious bunch. She found herself couched on a sofa between a girl painted green and a stage hand draped all in black. After listening to Elizabeth singing along with the crowd, they complimented her on her voice, and encouraged her to audition next semester.

"What's this I hear?" A curvy body plopped onto the lap of the stage hand, cup in hand. "I didn't know you were a singer, Eliza."

Heat creeped across Elizabeth's cheeks, whether because she was not accustomed to drawing attention to herself, or because she was now eye-level with Maria Reynolds bust, she could not say.

"I'm not really. I only sing alone in the shower, never in front of a crowd."

"Except for tonight," Maria mused. "Well, we're very privileged to be your exclusive audience."

The stage hand wriggled out from underneath the brunette to get a drink, and Maria slid closer beside Elizabeth, frayed jean legs riding up her thighs. "So, did you enjoy the show?"

Elizabeth swallowed, hoping her ogling had not been obvious. "Yeah, it was awesome. You have a great voice."

"Thanks. You should tell your friends, we've still got three shows left to go."

"Already shared it on Facebook," Elizabeth assured her.

"That's good, but in person conversations are better, aren't they? More personable and persuasive." Maria's brown eyes sparkled, lips curled into a cheeky smile.

Elizabeth felt her heartbeat speed up. Did Maria know she'd been obsessively monitoring her social media? Did she think she was pathetic? Not that it mattered what she thought. Elizabeth hoped anyone that saw her could tell she was over _that man_, and by consequence, not in the least obsessed with the woman he'd cheated on her with. Elizabeth had moved on. She was here because…because she was branching out. Broadening her horizons. Living her best damn life.

"Are you okay?"

Elizabeth blinked, and smiled. "Yeah, I'm good. Bit thirsty though." Moving with a boldness that surprised herself, she grabbed the cup Maria was holding and took a swig, keeping eye contact over the cup rim.

Maria's bright red lips fell into an o. Then she laughed in surprise. "You're welcome."

Elizabeth reached over Maria's lap to place the cup on a side table, feeling the warmth of her body as she slowly sat back. "You want to dance?"

Maria blinked, looking flustered. "Ah. Yes, yeah, what's an after party without some dancing?"

Elizabeth stood up, took her by the hand and shuffled with her to the centre of the room. The music had switched from musical numbers to pop tunes, but everyone was still singing along with gusto.

They danced together in a way that was more bopping and swaying than actual dancing, staying close enough that Elizabeth could see every one of the girl's eyelashes. She draped her wrists over Maria's shoulders, eyes running from her shy eyes, to her bitten lips, to her soft neck, voluptuous curves, and back again. The overhead lights went out, quickly replaced by coloured disco lights. Maria's hands slid around her waist and Elizabeth felt a tingle run through her body.

She stepped in closer still. Maria's ringlets brushed over her cheeks, their warm breaths mingling. Elizabeth's chest rose and fell rapidly, her finger tips running from Maria's shoulders into her hair. She felt a deep pull. Heat. Electricity. Maria's tongue darted over her lip.

Elizabeth closed the remaining centimetres, pulling their faces together. She kissed Maria, open mouthed, drinking her in. Her hands ran down the girl's back, over her hips and arse. Her skin was so soft. She wanted to slip her fingers under the hem…

Suddenly Maria pulled back, and Elizabeth blinked dazed, but then she felt a hand tugging her through the crowd.

* * *

It seemed they had wound up in Thomas Jefferson's bed. At least, that was who opened the door on them as they were getting dressed.

"Sorry, Tom, we'll get out of your way!" Maria said apologetically, running fingers through her tangled hair in an ineffective attempt at brushing it back into place.

Elizabeth avoided eye contact with the unimpressed man as she followed Maria out. Thomas strode into the room and closed the door behind him with a bang.

Back among the rabble of the party, and probably because the buzz of alcohol was wearing off, Elizabeth felt the boldness and confidence seeping out of her. What had she done? She had slept with the same woman who had destroyed her relationship with her ex. And she had loved every second of it. Elizabeth slumped against the hallway wall. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Said woman was now standing in front of her, putting a hand on her elbow. "Don't worry about Tom, he's a bit temperamental."

Elizabeth slid to the side, out of her grasp, anxiety squeezing her throat. She could barely look at the her.

"What's wrong?" Maria asked, wrinkling her forehead.

"I need to go." Elizabeth pushed past and ran down the stairs, weaving in and out of partygoers. Her cheeks felt hot, and the back of her neck prickled like a hundred judging eyes were glaring at her.

She burst out the front door, and walked briskly, edging on jogging, down the garden path. The music from the house was muffled, but still overpowered the clack of her heels on the concrete.

She checked her phone as she pushed out of the gate onto the street, blinking back tears. It was just past midnight, and she had three messages. Two from Angelica, asking her if she was okay, and her ETA for getting home. One from…Maria? Received just before seven, saying she hoped she would enjoy the performance. _Urg_.

Elizabeth shoved the phone back in her jacket pocket, clenching her teeth as she made her way to the other side of the campus residences. Agitated thoughts jostled through her mind.

On the one hand, she felt dirty. Her skin was sticky with dried sweat. And between her legs, she was still wet and slippery. But most of all, her insides were messy and blackened with shame. She was supposed to hate Maria. The woman who had destroyed her relationship. The woman who Elizabeth was supposed to scorn for her brazen sexuality. The kind of woman people whispered about for "sleeping around", for "opening her legs" too much, for being a "slut". Maria, who Elizabeth could still taste on her tongue, still smell on her fingers.

Elizabeth groaned put a hand to her forehead, trying to supress the maelstrom of cognitive dissonance raging in her brain. She was supposed to hate Maria for what she had done, and who she was, and definitely the feelings she was stirring in Elizabeth now.

But she couldn't hate Maria. She just couldn't. Maria was so confident, so magnetic, so sweet. Elizabeth didn't really know her, but she wanted to, badly. As she rounded the street corner and tottered up the garden path, Elizabeth couldn't stop thinking of how incredible it had felt to be all over Maria. She wished she was still with her now, spooning in Thomas Jefferson's bed.

The keys clacked in and around the knob of the front door, jangling in time with Elizabeth's frustrated sighs, finally sliding into the lock to let her into the house. Heels flew off her feet, before Elizabeth tiptoed up the stairs, clutching her keys and phone to her chest. The light was already on in the bathroom as she hightailed to the sink, resolutely avoiding her reflection in the mirror. She washed the make up off her face, rinsed the taste of Maria out of her mouth, and scrubbed under her nails for good measure.

"How was the party?"

Elizabeth jumped as her sister flew up behind her.

"Did you like the show? I heard there was fireworks!"

"It was fine. Very good." Elizabeth ducked out of Angelica's embrace and dried her face with a towel.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing!" She paced into hall and tried to get to her bedroom without further interruption, but Angelica hooked their arms together.

"Come on, sweetie, just tell me. Did you see Alex there or something?"

"No. Anyway, I'm over that dirt bag. I'm fine, I had a good time."

Angelica raised her eyebrows with a _bitch please_ attitude that belayed her lack of faith in Elizabeth's testimony.

"I'm serious, I'm just tired, okay? I'll tell you about it in the morning." Elizabeth sat on her bed and gestured towards the door.

"Did you see _her_?"

"What? No. I mean, who? I don't know what, I mean, _who_ you're talking about." Elizabeth cringed as Angelica started to laugh.

"So that's a yes. She was one of the main characters, right? She definitely would have been at the after party."

"Maybe, I don't know."

"God, you're blushing! What is up with you tonight?" Angelica plopped herself on the floor, grinning up at Elizabeth as she crossed her legs. Clearly settling in for a story Elizabeth was not willing to tell right now. Or ever.

"Something is wrong with me," Elizabeth murmured, the pressure of tears beginning to tighten her throat and prickle in her eyes once again.

"Hey, what's up? What happened?" Angelica's tone dropped from playful to concerned, and she sat beside her sister, arm wrapping her in a hug.

"I did the wrong thing." Tears started rolling down her cheeks, and Elizabeth hid her face in her arm.

Angelica rubbed her back, shushing in a soothing way. "It's okay, sweetie. You can tell me."

Elizabeth shook her head, trying and failing to stop crying. "I'm a bad person!"

"Why are you a bad person, sweetie?"

After a few moments without a reply, Angelica asked, "Did you kick her arse?"

Elizabeth laughed in spite of herself at Angelica's worried look, and shook her head. "No, no, I did not."

"What then? Gossip behind her back? Because everyone already does that, and no one would blame you."

"No."

"Boo her off stage? Spit in her beer? Ah…draw on her while she was asleep?"

"Angie. I slept with her."

Angelica froze with that, unblinking and mouth hanging open. "Sorry, what?"

"I…I had sex with Maria."

Angelica shook her head, then squeezed Elizabeth tight, trying to summon a reassuring smile. "Well, that's not so bad. I'm sure you can't have been _that_ shit at it."

Elizabeth spluttered and turned to look at her sister properly. "I didn't think I was _bad_ at it. I just feel bad. I slept with her for no reason. I'm supposed to hate her. It was…I'm a bad person."

Angelica shrugged. "I don't think you're a bad person. If you both wanted to do it, that's the only reason you need. You don't have to do it again if it made you feel bad."

"But…she slept with Alex."

"So?"

"So don't you think it's weird?"

"Not really. It's a small world. You and Alex must have similar tastes, I guess?"

"What the fuck, Angelica!"

"What? It's true!"

Elizabeth laughed, wiping tears and snot off her face with her shirt. "I need to sleep. I'm having a weird night."

"Sounds like you had a pretty good night," Angelica muttered under her breath.

"Get out now," Elizabeth demanded, rolling her eyes and fighting off a smile.

Angelica acquiesced, blowing her a kiss as she backed out of the room. "Good night, sweetie."

"Night." Elizabeth shut the door behind her, turned off the light and peeled off her clothes for the second time that night. She crawled under the covers, feeling worn out and confused, but less distressed than before. She drifted to sleep, the memory of Maria's legs around her neck pulling her into a sea of wild dreams.

* * *

The next time she and Maria met, they were squished into a corner of a coffee shop before a slam poetry reading. Not by accident, but because Elizabeth had messaged Maria over Facebook asking to see her and Maria had, surprisingly enough, agreed.

Acrylic nails patterned in stripes of pink, purple and blue tapped nervously on the table, as Maria looked anywhere but the woman sitting across from her. Elizabeth cleared her throat awkwardly, the buzz of conversation in the small space a buffer from the unbearable silence that would have otherwise reigned.

"Thank you for coming tonight. I really appreciate it."

Maria's eyes flicked from the crowd to Elizabeth face and down the table. "No worries. So… what's up?"

"I thought you'd appreciate my sister's feminist slam poetry."

Maria raised her eyebrows. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. And also, I wanted to apologise."

"For what?"

Elizabeth grimaced, stomach fluttering from having to spell it out. "I haven't treated you fairly. Maria, you seem like a really cool person. Someone I actually want to get to know, if you'll let me. And I don't regret…"

She leant in over the table voice hushing to a hoarse whisper. "- having amazing hot sex with you."

Maria let slip a nervous laugh.

"I just wish I'd gotten my head right first. I was still harbouring some hurt a few months ago. I'm sorry I ran out so quickly. Honestly, I wanted to see you the next day and to apologise and tell you how I felt, but I needed to make I sure _I_ knew what I was feeling first."

"And what are you feeling?"

"I have a massive crush on you, Maria Reynolds," Elizabeth folder her hands over Maria's, feelings her cheeks colour red as her lipstick. "And if you want to, I would love to take you on a date."

Maria smiled, biting her lip and leaning in over the table. "I would like that a lot."

Elizabeth beamed, gazing into Maria's gorgeous round eyes. "Really?"

"Yes. Come on, sit next to me!" Maria pulled her around to her side of the booth so they could nestle in together. "I'm looking forward to hearing your sister's poetry."

"Oh, she's awesome."

"And next date, you're coming to audition for the winter musical."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes as Maria draped an arm around her shoulder and stuck out her tongue.

* * *

Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts! :)


End file.
